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THE MINDS OF 'OLD-TIMERS'..........

 
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sweetmag
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 6:17 pm    Post subject: THE MINDS OF 'OLD-TIMERS'.......... Reply with quote

THE MINDS OF 'OLD-TIMERS'..........

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92- year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment,
killing him instantly.

Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense. 'Your Honor,' she began coolly, 'I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly.'
______________________________________________

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm ca used by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of
quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'
______________________________________________

This old man in his eighties gets up and puts on his coat. His wife says, 'Where are you going?' He said, 'I'm going to the doctor.' And she said, 'Are you sick?' 'No' he said, 'I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.' So his wife gets out of her rocker and puts on her coat. He said,' Where are you going?'. She said, 'I'm going to the
doctor, too.' He said, 'Why?' She said, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm going to get me a tetanus shot.'
_____________________________________________

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year- old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and
charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' They're knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob replies: I told her I was 90.
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TheHubby
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

like the last one the most! hahahahahahahaha Razz

I guess the blonde bombshell thought that since he's one foot to the grave... I'll wait and grab his money! hahahahahahahahaa Razz

WOMEN!!!! TYPICAL!!!! hahhahahahahaha Laughing Laughing

I'm so seeing the couch for that comment! hahahahaahaha Razz
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sweetmag
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

old mans darling Wink Twisted Evil
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sure or not? If Darling then why did he lie about his age??? hahahahahha Razz
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sweetmag
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

she's blond... it wouldnt make a difference even if he didnt lie about his age Laughing Twisted Evil
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hmmmmm... hello earth calling SMURFETTE... you're blonde too! hahahahahahaha Razz
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sweetmag
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

imagine waking up to me being blonde? Twisted Evil
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well... thanks to an imaging software on PAT's phone... I've got that picture right on my phone... so technically I don't need to imagine! hahahahahahaha Razz
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

no wonder sometimes you under estimate my inteligence Confused Rolling Eyes
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually Sweets, it's hard to estimate your intelligence period... cuz you always seem to outsmart me! hahahahhahahahaa Razz Laughing Laughing

Don't know how you do it babe... but Props to you! Razz
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sweetmag
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sometimes I amuse myself!!! Twisted Evil Wink
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